As I walk the path of Gathering Gloom

As I walk the path of gathering gloom I realize it is taking me home. It takes me down paths that I do not dare tread. They lead like veins leading back into the heart, deprived of life suffocated to blue. I push hard against my lungs. The weight carries me. The burden commands my legs and I am only the messenger of my own pain. What waits for me is stained into my hands with the dry blood. Home has become the brooding place of darkness. Home is where the heart is and these ribs have become a cage. Home, such a funny word that holds more meaning than it can convey. Home, my feet lead me home. My feet are the thoughts that burrow deep into my mind – now drilling holes that expose the emptiness.

My only hope is for the light to cleanse me. Let these holes expose and destroy, conquer and command, deliver the death blow to all that has brought me to this road.

I will walk. I will do. I will go. If only you would tell me where, what and how. “Why?” is not a problem anymore, you can keep your reasons just give me the goal I seek. I can fight under a banner if I know my enemy, but how can I keep fighting myself.

“Good and Evil are two wolves inside us.”
“Which one wins?”
“The one you feed.”

Have I starved them both, or in starving good have I fed evil? In the ritual of the habitual have I lost the vision? Did I know the destination but get absorbed in the journey?

You held out your hand as I was drowning. As the earth swallowed me whole you took hold – your strength against this world. The vengeance of the mother fought against the hope of the father.

The roots wrapped tight against my ankles, a death grip. The earth begged for my body and I wanted to give you my soul. Let them take my body, you can have me. Take me. Take me out, take me away please take me now.

“This is your path, follow it, and I will give light to your feet and wisdom to your eyes.”

Can this man, sitting here on a New England train that winter morning, become a famous writer? Its up to you the reader.

The one good thing is that now that man knows how to not only upload photos on his blog, but also post text next to it!

I don't have a beard now and have cut my hair short like that, but I would love to grow that beard back and be a professional writer if that is what God has in store for me. Anyway, I'm going to actually go write now, that maybe that dream of writing a book could turn into a reality.

Today

Today I'm house sitting for people in my church.

I'm working on my book called the Immortals, as you can guess its about immortals. I'm going to give a swing and maybe even publish it and see were it goes. I'm going to need proof readers that can give me honest answers. I also learned about Lulu.com last night which is a website that helps you self publish your books. They also help market the book.

Other than that I'm watching the news.