So now what?

So many things have changed over this summer.

As I sit here and think about it...wow. Oh my gosh! Who would have thought?

I mean after this financial crash (melodramatic I know) that happened my senior year I was completely resigned to never ever finding a good job. I even thought about a career change. I was completely lost in limbo. I had my old ideas of a future and new ones in the other. The new ones I tried, I tried so hard to figure out if they were right. If some how being a piano mover and table busser was a good idea. But lets be honest for a second. I was sitting at home in 'secure' jobs not being challenged I was buying into the adolescence of the world around me. I was running from responsibility. I was lost in my ideas of the future. I was lost in a fog.

Then out of the blue an offer hit the empty table and I jumped, not with reluctance, at it. I actually sat there and weighed it. which is bad on one hand that I had lost sight of life so much that I had to think about starting a career.

But

It was very good that I actually prayed about it, discussed it with my girlfriend (who is now my fiance and soon (in July) will be my wife - yay!). I actually took the time to think about how this will influence others and my faith.

Too bad that it has affected my faith, and so far its all been bad. I've disconnected and alone from community. But then again I haven't sought out any to be honest. I haven't tried to connect with my old college buddies, granted they're still in college and I've moved on - different view on life. And I haven't actively pursued old friends that are out of college either. In a lot of ways I have no friends that I hang out with outside of church or work other than my fiance. Outside of work I'm stagnant on every possible level, and have no idea what to do. This is why people in America are workaholics.

well, this was me trying to catch up my blog and thoughts but I'm not feeling so wonderful so now I'm going to take medicine and try to sleep. maybe I'll read a little.

Maybe I should cook and write a blog about that. Wouldn't that be nice?